13 Things I've Learnt Being Twenty-Something

Monday, 4 April 2016

1. It's okay not to have your life together, you don't need to know right now what direction you want your life to go in. You're still young and you still have the world as your oyster. As you figure yourself out, you'll find life slipping slowly into place too. Don't force it, don't push yourself into something you're not set upon.

2. University isn't for everyone. It's okay to not know what you want to do with life. Not everyone wants to go to uni, not everyone knows what they want to study, or what occupation they want to do for the majority of their life. It's okay to not want to go to University.

3. You can't please everyone, so stop trying so hard. Humans are hard, indecisive, sometimes rude, sometimes horrible, mostly difficult beings, trying to please everyone is an impossible mission. Don't waste your time or your effort on people who will never appreciate it. Don't drain yourself of everything to try and make everyone around you happy, it'll just make you miserable and full of self-pity for trying so damn hard (If you recognise: 'Why do I even bother?' then I'm talking to you).

4. A handful of decent friends are better than a massive group of 'average' friends. You will really learn who your real friends are, if you're putting more effort in than what you get back, you can do better. You don't need to be dragged down by lack-lustre friends who only really care about themselves. What you do need is supportive, always there for you no matter what friends. The kind of friends who can cheer you up by just a one liner.

5. One night stands will not make you feel better. Drunk or sober, they're never really a good idea. You'll end up doubting your self worth and will probably remember it, and cringe about it, for the foreseeable future. You'll also run the risk of worrying about it for at least the following month. And no. It doesn't mean they'll fall in love with you either, unfortunately.

6. Staying in with a pizza and a few beers (or tea, tea fixes everything) is far more satisfying than getting wasted in a grotty club. Alcohol in a pub/club is pretty pricey these days, taxi's are expensive, heels hurt, men grope - it's not all that appealing anymore. A toasty bed, a take away and some great company is totally okay to be your preferred 'party'.

7. You learn to appreciate more of the little things - fresh bedding, hilarious typos which should never happen but do (pesky iPhones), seeing your mum smile - like really smile, the smell of a new (or an old) book, them forehead kisses that just make you feel so god damn safe, a comfortable silence between two people, the sound of uncontrollable laughter, really fluffy blankets, the sound of rain, a smell that just reminds you of someone or something, a dog carrying their toy on a walk, you get the drift.

8. Social Media isn't real life. People like their lives to be perceived as cool and exciting, when more often than not it's a twist on reality. A photo they've took a while ago, an event that didn't really happen. Social media was made for lies that people won't get questioned about, don't let what others are doing on social media make you doubt how great your life is.

9. There are little priorities in life, but the first one is happiness. Your main priority should always be your own happiness - and the happiness of the ones that you love.

10. It's not illegal to buy tampons, sanitary towels or condoms. It's not embarrassing, it's life.

11. There comes a time where you lose a family member, a relative, or a friend. Death happens. It will hurt, you won't ever, ever get over it but you will get used to it. And it's okay to be sad, it's okay to mourn and it's okay to grieve. Shit happens and time will never heal them wounds, but time will help dry them out a little.

12. Chill out time is super important. It's okay to have a day and just not do much, it's okay to let your mind relax and to just not worry about anything for a few hours. It's good to have a routine that you know will help calm you down when you're upset, angry, hurt, or just in a bad mood, for example mine are long walks, long hot bubble baths with a cup of tea and cocooning in bed with a good book. Figure out what presses your relax button and learn to do it at least once a week.

13. It is totally okay to have down days. It is totally okay to just want to curl up in bed and cry for a while when nothing is particularly wrong. It is totally okay to sit in the bath and sob when you just feel completely overwhelmed. And it is totally okay to eat your body weight in pizza when you're curling up in bed and crying. This doesn't mean you're obese, alone, or sad. It's totally normal to have emotions.


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