I just can't seem to get this 'dating' thing down. I don't know what I do 'wrong' (Nothing. Repeat. Nothing.) but I wish I learnt the tell tale signs a long time ago to stop me wasting my time on undeserving men. And I also wish I had the guts to remind myself of the signs every time a new man comes into my life.
So how do you know if he just isn't that into you?
#1. He doesn't make much effort unless he wants something.
He texts/chats now and again with not much conversation, not much depth, interest or really, anything at all. It's mindless and not really that entertaining, but because you like him you think it's great conversation. Just another sign that he doesn't really care. He should be going out of his way to ask you questions, find stuff out, make sure you're okay, ask how your day has been. You know, more than just a simple conversation, that is more often than not, mostly one sided (from you), if you're asking all the questions, maybe you need to ask why.
#2. He ignores you/takes forever to reply with no genuine reason.
Genuine reasons being - he's driving, he's at work, he's in a social situation where being on his phone is considered rude etc. But if he doesn't reply to you when he isn't busy, or is able to reply, and when you know he's actually read your message/s and still hasn't replied? No. If you've got the time to read them surely you've got the time to reply. Silence speaks louder than words.
#3. If you don't hear from him in days/weeks.
#4. If he only wants you to go round late at night.
Screams only one thing at me. Booty call territory. And that is dangerous territory - I don't think booty calls ever really get into the relationship or dating stage. That it is purely just sex for him, and the fact he thinks he can have you whenever he wishes, that you'll just drop your pants at his beck and call. Unless that's all you want too, obviously.
#5. He acts like he doesn't care.
If he does act like he doesn't care, chances are he actually doesn't care. If he knows you're interested and is still playing the game, I don't really think he does care. He should be trying to make you feel like a princess, trying to win you over. A little bit of romance never hurt anyone did it now? No. Mr play it cool can't play it cool forever.
#6. It's all on his terms.
When you see him, his choice. When you go out together, his choice. Where you go together, his choice. You get the jist. If he isn't polite enough to ask what you wanna do, when you wanna do it, he ain't worth it. Again it seems like another case of thinking you'll come running at his beck and call. And when he makes up some excuse not to see you when you ask, but then gets mad at you for saying no when he does, nope. There should be equality between the two of you.
#7. You can feel it in your gut.
This is the one I struggle the most with. Second guessing myself. If you feel something is wrong, something isn't right with whatever is going on, the chances are it's not. If he doesn't wanna see you and then ignores you, and you think that's a bit dodgy, it probably is. If he bails on you last minute, and you think it's a bit weird, it probably is. If he's ignored your messages but been online since, and you don't think that's right, it probably isn't. Trust yourself a little bit more and if it doesn't feel right, leave. If you see dodgy signs from the start, imagine what it'd be like if you actually did get in a relationship together. Relationships need trust, and if you can't do that at the start, when can you?
But please remember just because he's not that into you, doesn't mean someone else won't be.
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